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Glenn Beck’s “How to Make facefriends and Influence People”

Reported by Guest Blogger - February 17, 2010 - Comments (6)

Guest blogged by Aunty Em

When one is a Glenn Beck follower, one must be prepared to go anywhere—and turn over any rocks—to keep up with The Ubiquitous Becketeer. [Try saying that 5 times fast!] To stay informed, I have created news alerts with The Google that link me to every mention of his name anywhere in the world. I also subscribe to his various e-newsletters, as well as many others on Right and Left sides of the political spectrum. And—just in case—I get updates from The Police Blotter, because you never really know where he will turn up next. However, the best thing I ever did, if only for the sheer entertainment value, was to join a whole bunch of facebook groups with his name in the title.

There are some that are pro-Beckian. There are others that are anti-Beck. There are some that are sanctioned; there are some are not. However, all are a great source of laughs. None provides more yuks than those that encourage comments by ardent Beckerheads, who earnestly support their hero, the man single-handedly saving America from becoming a Gulag Archipelago when the rest of the media yadda, yadda, yadda.

Here’s a handy little guide to some of my favourite Glenn Beck facebook groups:

If your thing is good literature, you can join the group Arguing With Idiots - Glenn Beck, where idiots argue with other idiots over his idiotic picture book.

If you’re an activist, and you just hate the way Color of Change treated your hero, you can join Boycott the Glenn Beck Boycott. I haven’t quite figured this one out, but I think it means boycotting the 103 products, business and services that have decided to not advertise on the Hate-A-Thon known as The Glenn Beck Program.

Or, maybe you’re just hankering to get The Beckster to your home town, provided your home town is The City of Roses. If so, join Bring Glenn Beck to Portland, Oregon.

Two of the newer groups, I discovered through Fire Dog Lake and True Slant. They are both fiercely competing for facefans, but Can this poodle wearing a tinfoil hat get more fans than Glenn Beck? is outpacing Can this Dung Beetle get more fans than Glenn Beck? in a walk. While they both began around the same time “Tin Foil Poodle” has outstripped “Dung Beetle Beck” by 165,587 fans to 61,226 fans. You have to admit the picture of the poodle is much cuter than that of the beetle rolling another ball of Beck’s dung.

The most official of all the Glenn Beck facepages I am on is the official “Glenn Beck” fan facepage. It’s so official that Glenn Beck, or someone claiming to be him, writes on his wall in the first person. You just know it’s the real deal because under “Personal Information” it says, “Yes...it's really me!” Another way you know it’s the real deal is because it’s just like his tee vee show; most of his wall posts hawk his books or personal appearances. Even though he has 655,709 fans, “Tin Foil Poodle” is catching up quick.

However, Tuesday (February 16, 2010) Glenn Beck surprised all his facefans with something so touching, so human, so personal, and so heartwarming, that I felt I had to share it with News Hounds’ readers.

Last week in LA, I got a tour of Jay Leno’s garage. Amazing cars, but what struck me most was how kind Jay was to me and my family. He even drove the kids around the garage in an original electric car! A great experience that I won’t soon forget.
February 16, 2010

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Yep. Just a couple of regular guys getting together to talk cars…over a private car collection worth several million dollars. Maybe Beck will start collecting cars now. He can certainly afford them with his multi-million dollar salary, yet it only appears as if he has a Cadillac Escalade and a GMC Yukon Denali. While he rates his Caddie a 10, his gas guzzler named after a pristine mountain in Alaska only gets a 7.5. Why?

“I don't think the seats are quite as comfortable,” the Fat, Fat Fatty (his words) told Truck Trend. “Somebody told me the Denali seats are the same as the Cadillac seats. I don't think they are. It doesn't have some of the nice appointments to it.”

See? It’s all about Glenn Beck’s ass and whether his Denali kisses it properly.

See how far one has to travel to catch Beck being Beck? It might even lead to the Rachel Maddow Show. Last night (2/16/10) Maddow returned to the issue of Climate Change in general, and Glenn Beck’s lyin' ass in particular. It’s really quite ironic. Beck accused her of lying to her audience about something he had said earlier on his Radio Drama Theatre. He accused Maddow of deceptively editing his Global Warming clips. He went on to claim that she attacked him without providing any evidence. And then, as Maddow pointed out with more evidence, he played the clips of Maddow, in which the evidence was deceptively edited out, that he claimed Maddow never produced. While the tactic is stunning in its audacity, his tee vee watchers and facefans will never take the time to investigate because it’s one of those weird “He said/She said” back and forths that gets more complicated in the retelling.

Nevertheless, Maddow ended strongly. Speaking directly to Glenn Beck, and no one else, she said “I think it’s between you and your God, or you and your conscience, as to how much you’re willing to stir up Americans’ fears and prejudice for profit. But, it’s between you and me when you accuse me of lying. I didn’t lie. Back off!”

Watch it yourself:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Unfortunately (or, fortunately if you like these intra-mural bun fights like I do) Beck has never been known to “back off,” especially when he’s wrong and most especially when his fragile widdle feelings are hurt. Like the Roger Ailes contretemps, I predict this one will have legs, as they say. For all I know now, Beck is on the radio right now shredding Maddow for shredding him.

As long as people are committed to turning over every rock, there will always be a controversy in Glenn Beck’s world.

With all my love,

Aunty Em